Abby Aguilar

I still feel worthless

Like I'm not worth

An education

Or a family that hears me walk and talk

Or the teachers that try so hard to


A failure

That doesn't know where she's going

Or what she's doing

It’s as if I'm breathing

In an apocalypse of teens

That feel everything but happiness;

In a world where drugs,


And masking your emotions

Seems more natural rather than expressing them.

Where losing friends

Is so much easier

Than gaining them,

And now I'm stuck here wondering

If I'm the problem or if they are.

No sight of a path that is supposably “visible”

At the age of seventeen

I want to break my bad habits

But my sadness and anxiety

Stiffen the need to change

That cigarettes are more useful than attempting

To talk to people

Who never listen


I lost someone I could never replace

That will always be with me

But is no longer here physically

I don't know what I'm doing

Or where I'm going

Or why I'm here

Maybe eighteen will be better

But for now

Let the tears explain the growing pains